And I Smoke

The emotional journey of 'And I Smoke' takes the listener into the depths of Tades Sanville's anxiety and internal struggle. The song begins with a depiction of life's fractal nature, emphasizing the repetitive, often overwhelming patterns of thought and behavior that anxiety can impose. Tades describes moving to an unfamiliar place, the feeling of isolation compounds, as unfamiliar details become a source of distress, and even routine actions like taking a shower become attempts to find solace.

As the song progresses, the protagonist's battle with anxiety manifests physically. Techniques taught by a doctor to mitigate the feelings of anxiety, such as regulating breath, relaxing the jaw, and affirmations, offer temporary relief but fail to address the deeply rooted fear. Tades Sanville artfully portrays the consuming and smothering sensation of anxiety, likening it to a flame igniting with each breath and a throat filled with hair, blocking air and words alike.

The chorus sheds light on the private battle with anxiety, where the mere sound of a pin drop causes an eruption of hyper-vigilance, reinforcing the feeling of never truly being alone. The broken lock and following footsteps paint a picture of paranoia where reassurance of solitude provides no comfort, and the 'doctors order' becomes a frail defense against the invisible invaders of peace.

The song culminates in the recognition that anxiety stems from a deeper source, a need for significance, perhaps stemming from the exposure and vulnerability of being a public figure. The repetition of 'useless affirmations' underscores a sense of futility, and the imagined observers become the representation of Tades's constant struggle to reclaim privacy and peace from the prying eyes and ears of anxiety.