Ren's song 'Diazepam' is an intimate confession about the struggles with mental health and dependency on medication to cope with emotional turmoil. The lyrics personify the medication Diazepam, describing how it temporarily alleviates the artist's inner demons and emotional pain, bringing a sense of numbness and relief from the chaos of life. However, this relief is depicted as fleeting and deceptive, suggesting an ongoing battle between seeking solace in the drug and facing the reality of its side effects and the potential for addiction.
The emotional journey of 'Diazepam' by Ren begins with a sense of immediate relief, as described in the opening lines. Ren alludes to a fleeting respite provided by the medication, which 'kicks in' and turns 'the volume down on my demons.' The listener can feel the palpable release of tension the artist experiences—an ephemeral moment of peace in a usually chaotic mind.
As the journey progresses, Ren delves deeper into the dependency on Diazepam. The lyrics 'Do you make me feel like everything's not dissolving?' and 'Swallow a tablet, I'm overindulging' reflect the struggle to maintain optimism and the reliance on the medication as a crutch to keep figurative 'doors' from 'revolving.' The artist's recognition of overindulgence shows self-awareness but also highlights the conflict between the desire to feel well and the realization of an unhealthy reliance on medication.
In the refrain, Ren implores the medication not to lie, signifying the understanding that the solace it offers is illusory. This echoes throughout the song, encapsulating the artist's internal tug-of-war between seeking medicinal aid and comprehending its temporary, sometimes counterfeit, patch over deep-seated troubles.
By the second verse and bridge, Ren paints a darker, more despairing picture of the aftermath when the effects of Diazepam wear off—the inability to breathe and feeling like one's essence has been stripped away. The imagery of drowning in an ocean signifies being overwhelmed by one's emotions. Moreover, the term 'anaesthetic bleeding' in the bridge reflects an ongoing struggle to find 'a place for the pain' and the cyclical nature of seeking and receiving numbness followed by a return of suffering.
"You turn the volume down on my demons"
This metaphor suggests that Diazepam suppresses the artist's agonizing emotions or thoughts, like turning down the volume on a loud noise, providing a brief respite.
"Swallow a tablet, I'm overindulging"
Taking more than necessary suggests a struggle with controlling medication usage, highlighting issues of dependency and the risks of self-medication.
"Went for a swim and then drowned in your ocean"
Here, Ren compares Diazepam's influence to an ocean, which can initially seem refreshing but can also be overpowering and dangerous—a metaphor for the consuming nature of dependency.
"Self-destructive healing, it's one and the same"
Ren recognizes that the temporary relief Diazepam provides is ultimately harmful, emphasizing the vicious cycle of seeking relief through means that can cause more damage in the long run.